Growing up, I used to vow to my friends that I will never be caught dead in a long-distance relationship (I'm sure when I was saying that, God was looking down at me laughing at my foolishness). I mean how else can we prove the saying "Man proposes but God deposes".
I remember vividly saying that I would rather remain single instead of being with someone miles away from me. But today, I am madly in love with a wonderful man who is at least 10,000 miles away from me, and sometimes, I laugh at myself.
The journey has not been easy but I can boldly say that we are going stronger, we get better every day (thank God for that).
When we started talking (my hunk and me), I didn't think we would make it this far; matter of fact, I wasn't matured enough to handle the stress of long-distance and it was a lot of work from both sides. There were a lot of things we both wanted to do with each other (get your mind out of the gutter) but we couldn't do them because we were miles apart.
3 years down the line (and still counting), I know now that what sustains a relationship (especially a long-distance one) is not the things you know, but those things you don't know but you think you know (don't worry I will explain further)
At a certain age, I thought I was ready to get married and was equipped with the necessary tools to sustain a marriage; I was made to realize those things that I thought I knew would take me nowhere at all. Hence, I had to unlearn and relearn somethings (by that I mean everything)
So here are a few tips on things I have learned that are helping me.
1.Learn your partners love language (whether long-distance or not)
2. Spend quality time together
3. You cannot both be angry at the same time
4. Learn to quickly apologize (even if you don't think you are wrong) remember that perspective is everything in life. (I am still learning that)
5. Your relationship will only survive what you both want it to survive
6. You are stronger than you think and if you pour your strength into your relationship, it will blossom
7. Everybody has rights, but one of you must be willing to let go of those rights; the lion and the lamb (your strong head will not help you in any way)
8. I see posts where people say a man should love more than the woman (that is a fallacy); no one should enter a relationship with that mindset. Go with the mindset of I am giving this relationship my 100% and hope your partner is in it with their 100% too.
9. Don't forget to be emotionally intelligent to your partner's feeling (I am still learning this as well)
10. I cannot over-emphasize this point, your relationship would only survive as much as you want it to.
11. God is the foundation, block, sand, cement water, and life of every relationship. Make time to pray together, fast together. Share the word of God together because I bet you there will be a time you both CANNOT stand each other but the only thing holding you together is God.
12. Learn to fight wisely; I know it is unavoidable to fight but what is more important? Winning an argument or losing your relationship? (I am still learning this)
13. Try as much as possible to settle your quarrel/argument in a timely manner (a crack in the wall allows for the lizard to enter). Staying mad for too long is not worth it.
14. Respect each other's feelings. We are all human being
15. Finally, love like you have never loved anyone before and like you will never love any other person. It helps when the going gets tough.
More to come!!!!
Comments